Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I'm Lonely

It’s over 2 full months since I disappeared from blogsphere. I had to do that for my own interest. I needed to concentrate on certain areas that will make or mar my future; I needed a break.

Thanks to the greatest motivators. I mean people who never got bored of saying hi and hello to know how truly I was feeling and also suggested ways to tackle my personal problems. Princekay123, Aloofar, Latifa, Sollomonsydelle, Mike, Kay9, Iwalewa, Wienna, Doll, Teeee, Snapes, LG, Geebee, Oyin, Princesa, Smaragd, Standtall-The Activist, Aloted, Oluwadee, Bumight, and my blogsphere uncle – Sola Folowosele. I also acknowledge the contributions of other bloggers (too numerous to mention) who gave me encouragement.

I believe everything in life happens as a way to teach us lessons. Everything at all is a stage out of the different phases in our lives.

After the whole argument and counter argument went down, I approached him to get everything sorted out. I was at his place on February 10, 11 and 12 but he couldn’t provide the money he promised. He was just giving flimsy excuses and telling cock and bull story. I was really mad at him but kept my cool.
On Val’s day, I went back to his place but was shocked to find another girl inside the apartment. Though I wasn’t feeling jealous, I was not comfortable. The lady did not even allow me in. I stood at the entrance of the flat for twenty-five minutes that it took him to show up. When he came and I complained, he took it up and descended on me. He gave me the beating of my life. I was never beaten like that in my life. With a swollen face, I approached my mum but what she said baffled me. She told me she had warned me severally to be careful of the doctor. The same thing my sisters said.
I wept like a baby that day. I knew it was the death of my dad that caused everything. I reported the matter at the police station but they couldn’t do anything. They only told him to pay for my treatment or treat me free of charge. He was also asked to make an agreement to return my money. It is over one month now, he hasn’t paid a dime. The lackadaisical attitude of my mum and sisters was what he exploited. He knew I’m a weak person and he deliberately inflicted that injury on me. What a double loss!

It was during the payment time in the office that I discovered that I only went to the office 6 working days in February. I was paid only 10% of my salary and also had a Suspension Letter waiting for me. I had caused a great loss to the company for those periods I didn’t go to work. I had shunned meetings, lost contacts with clients, delayed certain goods from being sold and some from being cleared. I never knew my loss of concentration had caused a great havoc to the firm. I also learnt that my PA/Secretary had been sacked because her service was no longer needed since I am on suspension. I was angry because nobody gave me a hint, not even my friends in the office. I was all alone with 3 months suspension.

On March 9, I started my exam in school. It was a dismal outing. I was not psychologically ready to write 11 papers in 7 days. These papers include 4 carry-overs. My God! I dubbed all through. I 'giraffed'; I 'photocopied' others. My intention was just to pass and get out.

My exams are over and it seems my position is no longer guaranteed in the office. The house is too hot for me to stay because I can’t cope with criticisms from everybody again. My friends, neighbours, relations and even church-friends torment my life with blames. I’m presently hanging out here in Ibadan in my Granny’s dilapidated bungalow in the outskirt of Bodija. She's the only one reasoning in from my viewpoint. She's the only one I talk to. I am damn too lonely. I can’t wait to put everything behind me and start life again. I am damn sure I won’t TRUST anybody again!