Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I'm Lonely

It’s over 2 full months since I disappeared from blogsphere. I had to do that for my own interest. I needed to concentrate on certain areas that will make or mar my future; I needed a break.

Thanks to the greatest motivators. I mean people who never got bored of saying hi and hello to know how truly I was feeling and also suggested ways to tackle my personal problems. Princekay123, Aloofar, Latifa, Sollomonsydelle, Mike, Kay9, Iwalewa, Wienna, Doll, Teeee, Snapes, LG, Geebee, Oyin, Princesa, Smaragd, Standtall-The Activist, Aloted, Oluwadee, Bumight, and my blogsphere uncle – Sola Folowosele. I also acknowledge the contributions of other bloggers (too numerous to mention) who gave me encouragement.

I believe everything in life happens as a way to teach us lessons. Everything at all is a stage out of the different phases in our lives.

After the whole argument and counter argument went down, I approached him to get everything sorted out. I was at his place on February 10, 11 and 12 but he couldn’t provide the money he promised. He was just giving flimsy excuses and telling cock and bull story. I was really mad at him but kept my cool.
On Val’s day, I went back to his place but was shocked to find another girl inside the apartment. Though I wasn’t feeling jealous, I was not comfortable. The lady did not even allow me in. I stood at the entrance of the flat for twenty-five minutes that it took him to show up. When he came and I complained, he took it up and descended on me. He gave me the beating of my life. I was never beaten like that in my life. With a swollen face, I approached my mum but what she said baffled me. She told me she had warned me severally to be careful of the doctor. The same thing my sisters said.
I wept like a baby that day. I knew it was the death of my dad that caused everything. I reported the matter at the police station but they couldn’t do anything. They only told him to pay for my treatment or treat me free of charge. He was also asked to make an agreement to return my money. It is over one month now, he hasn’t paid a dime. The lackadaisical attitude of my mum and sisters was what he exploited. He knew I’m a weak person and he deliberately inflicted that injury on me. What a double loss!

It was during the payment time in the office that I discovered that I only went to the office 6 working days in February. I was paid only 10% of my salary and also had a Suspension Letter waiting for me. I had caused a great loss to the company for those periods I didn’t go to work. I had shunned meetings, lost contacts with clients, delayed certain goods from being sold and some from being cleared. I never knew my loss of concentration had caused a great havoc to the firm. I also learnt that my PA/Secretary had been sacked because her service was no longer needed since I am on suspension. I was angry because nobody gave me a hint, not even my friends in the office. I was all alone with 3 months suspension.

On March 9, I started my exam in school. It was a dismal outing. I was not psychologically ready to write 11 papers in 7 days. These papers include 4 carry-overs. My God! I dubbed all through. I 'giraffed'; I 'photocopied' others. My intention was just to pass and get out.

My exams are over and it seems my position is no longer guaranteed in the office. The house is too hot for me to stay because I can’t cope with criticisms from everybody again. My friends, neighbours, relations and even church-friends torment my life with blames. I’m presently hanging out here in Ibadan in my Granny’s dilapidated bungalow in the outskirt of Bodija. She's the only one reasoning in from my viewpoint. She's the only one I talk to. I am damn too lonely. I can’t wait to put everything behind me and start life again. I am damn sure I won’t TRUST anybody again!


Ms. emmotions said...


pls just read this comment carefully and try to make sense of it, am not going to do one of those, sori dears or it will pass dears so brace urself..

wat the hell is wrong with u gal?
why are u willing to throw away ur life on a single mistake u made and more so on a man thats not worth it?

okay tell me, which are u hurtin frm the money or the man who isnt worth it?

okay tell me, have u not read at least if not seen people that get to be robbed by armed men and even loss their lives?

so we say u were robbbed but u have ur life intact, so kini big deal?

please u really need to get a grip and move on, mistakes are part of life and they are there to be made just so we learn frm it gal,

i dont belive u actually went to his house to be beaten just so u can get ur money, am not saying it not worth u gettin ur money but have u tot of handing him and the hurt he caused u to GOD for his must desrved purnishment so u can at least move on?

abeg its not worth all this , so u wanty to loose ur job just so u can convince urself u are hurt?

just pull urself together, be happy, pamper urself, look nice and go out there ans shine even for him to seee, when he is read ( if ever) with ur money let him call u then give him an account to pay into cos he is not worth layin eyes on u ever again ..


Geebee said...

I feel your pain. It definitely hurts to realise one has been used and having others criticise and chastise thereafter feels like pricking a red boil or stabbing a fresh wound. The doctor guy is an animal and sure needs to be taught a lesson but then, putting yourself through hell over this is sure not worth it. I agree with ms. emotions. You need to get a grip and move on. Brush the dirt of your shoulders and try to catch up on what you let slip so far (academics, work etc). Meanwhile, you can send me the asshole's contact so that I can arrange some agberos to deal with him. Better still, call Fine Boy Agbero or Don Bagucci to handle this. lol. Cheer up sis. We missed you and it feels good to have you back.

Miss FlyHigh - LondonsNaijaQueen said...

Hey my dear,

This is my 2nd time here on your blog I believe, I don't really know whats going but I gather that your upset. Stay strong and look foward because that's where your are going 'ever foward never backward'.

With your academics try your best and let God do the rest. In regards to your job sorry to hear about but I hope it will teach us a lesson.

Feel free o email me if you wanna talk. Drop by my blog when your free ( i'm sure it'll make you laugh just a bit)


aloted said...

my dear kai it is hard but pls u have to be strong....someone once said if u allow a man to kill you other men will walk on ur grave...

u need to get a grip and dont let this affect other aspects of ur life...i know it is hard..but thank God at least u are not married to him...u can learn from this mistake and move on....

be strong, take it to the lord...

here's a cyber hug from me to u

princekay123 said...

Well, what else do I need to tell you Wande? Just be cool and watch your back.

And take your time before you fall in love again.

StandTall-The Activist said...

I am so so sorry to hear all these happened to you again!.

I feel so bad deep within me.

You know what? Do not let this kill your spirit. Standtall and tough. It will be a thing of the past and you will see joy cometh in the morning.

Let me know if you want to hang out and we can arrange to me and chat....

StandTall-The Activist said...

Pls Yewande, be calm and focus...

Anonymous said...

...think its high time you forgot abt dis doctor guy for good. Once bitten twice shy, what you need now is to be more focussed and determined. Your future is more important than every other thing. I think the doctor guy has seen it all, that's why he's trying to ripyou off. Pls don't even think of retaliating cos dat's against the Golden Rule. Let the law of Karma deal with dat guy, am sure u'll be sorry for him later.

Just be gud to yourself and make sure your job and academics are intact. If u were not organized that guy couldn't have ask you out. So organize yourself and prepare ahead of challenges of life. And please don't close your heart cos your right man may be around the corner.

I'm a regular reader of your blog. One funny thing is that i've met you several times at UNILAG at QSS. I'll say hi when next i see you. Take care Yewande. My name is Tito.

Teeee said...

At least you have your Grandma. Your situation is such a eye opener but you're also a soldier. It may seem to quickly to say this but not all guys are bad. Let's just pray that you find another job. Rest, take your medicine and pray. It's gd your family are correcting you but they also need to console you. When you have a daughter, you can advise her from your own experience. Cry, shout, scream do whatever so you get this out of your system. Take care xx

LG said...

dearie' pls take it easy

Yewande Atanda said...

@Ms. emmotion,
Thanks a lot for your advice. It's really useful.

U've shown me so much love brother. Thanks a bunch.

@Miss FlyHigh
Thanks for the comment and mails. I really appreciate your concern. Sorry for not replying on time. I am not in Lagos, so am presently using the public wifi to connect my laptop to the internet. so soory dear.

Hmmm..thanks for the virtual hug. I want more.

thanks my big brother. U're da bomb!

@Standtall Activist
thank you ma. I am noe focussed and determined. I think I also need a conference in SA to strengthen my zeal. Hahaha...

thanks jare.

yeah, i've done that several time. i've cried, shouted and even bitten my fingers, but its time to step up now. I gat to find a way to keep my job, then concentrate more on my studies. i don't need an extra-year.
Thanks for my grandma's love. she really talked sense into my head. i love those parable and stylish way she cautioned me.

my good sista, am taking it easy jare. am okay now, will hit LAG next week.

Olufunke said...

I am so sorry to read this.
The doctor guy obviously does not worth your sweat: beating you, disrespecting you......like that

I understand you are lonely now, but you don't have to rush into another man's arms, take some time to heal, gather yourself together, have set down list of the things you believe about relationships, stick with them,pray about your love life and enter a new relationship with all your self respect intact.

Sending more hugs your way dearie
It is going to be well.

princekay123 said...

I am sending a hug too Wande.

Just take your time and make sure you face your study o! So ti gbo?

It's one of the challenges in life...

Yewande Atanda said...

Thanks for the advise. am grateful.

thanks too. you're making me feel good here.

wienna said...

My sis...we all go through different experiences in life. Each one of them makes us wiser & stronger and most of all we learn from them. You can't hide away from family & friends because of just one problem that just occurred in your life. You've to learn to deal with it & pick the pieces of your life back together. As i said before, take heart.

Sola Folowosele said...

well, Wendy. i dont know what to tell you this time..its hard to believe that u are allowing all these to happen to you.
Just re-invent yourself and power your life ahead.

princekay123 said...

I hope you are feeling good. How was your Ibadan trip? Hope you brought "Dodo Ikire" for me. I love it so much.

Remi, United Kingdom said...

Hey dearie, hope you are feeling much better? Stay strong and in God.

Much love



I am so sorry that you continue to endure so much pain and stress. In time you will surely overcome this stage of your life. And that is exactly what it is - a stage. What is important are the lessons you will hopefully learn and the grace with which you will come out on the other side. Stay strong, do what you have to do for yourself to get back to where you want to be.

Please take it easy.

Oyin said...

hey....update girly.

where are you, you ok?

kay9 said...

Dearest Yewande,

I've been away from blog-town to, so I'm just seeing this post now. My dear, I feel for you. I don't wanna open old wounds again for you, so i'll keep it short: Keep holding on ma cherie, God will see you through.

And remember, True Love waits for you at the nd of the tunnel.